November 29, 2007

• blurbomat, in fives:

  i got an email today with this as the subject line:

  Bank Balloon Aircraft Carrier Spot Light Foot Telescope Hammer

  i wanted to pretend it was a puzzle, like 'what do all of these items have in common', or something to decode.

  but it's just spam.

  how boring.

  *  *  *  *

  i like this time of year for many reasons, not least of which is that in december they start coming out with all kinds of "best of" lists for the year.  i don't always agree with them.  however, i love lists.  i love superlatives.  i love seeing what other people think is great so i can evaluate it for myself, dismiss it, or find a new great thing for myself.

  this end of the year tradition employs all these things, and thus appeals to me greatly.

  then i thought, i wonder what my "best of" list of 2007 would contain?  we should all think of it, and publish it on here.  you in?

  *  *  *  *

  instead of being figuratively nice to mean people, sometimes i'd much rather just keep a stove going in my car, and when applicable, just run out, get a shovel, and dump actual hot coals on people's heads. 

  *  *  *  *

  why don't they attach more pairs of mittens to each other with long bits of string so they don't get misplaced?

  *  *  *  *

  a coworker sent the following thing she saw at work in a file: "alert: client had a bunyan romovel.  she had one foot down, and now needs the other."

  wow. 

  bunyan romovel?  is paul bunyan, in full plaid regalia, now abandoning his lumberjack and fictional character duties to squat on the property of people's feet?  is romovel a painful new process, and what does it do?  is babe*, the ox, on the other foot?  is the other foot not 'down'?  and why is this important to put in their file about their finances?  do they do work with their foot?

  conundrums abound.  surely they couldn't have meant bunion removal, right?

  *  *  *  *

  *credit to boy, who remembered the blue ox's name.  he is the valedictorian of boyfriends.

  • 3:27 pm
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