February 12, 2008

• our ceo practices what i like to call "pigeon management": swoop in, shit all over everything, and then leave you with the mess.

  it's like a snowstorm.

  oh, and i hate playing dominoes, in case anyone wanted to know.

  i have to write about sir galwain now, after i drove to pueblo and back for a lecture that is next week. 

  if you are thinking to yourself that this was pointless to read, you would not entirely be wrong, i'm sure.

  in other news, i am mourning the loss of polaroid film today.  after 2008, it will no longer be manufactured.

  you may think that i learned of that and thought 'what a bummer'. 

  but truthfully, i'm having just a little crisis over it. 

  you see, i have 4 polaroid cameras.  i love them.  i love that they are the epitome of instant gratification, and that in order to be that, they are a pain in the ass.  they are big, the film is expensive, they are low-tech and old school - and all of that is completely worth it for me.

  so so sad.  and now i am hoarding film like i need it for the millenium changeover that wasn't.

  i envision a time that i will have to ask if a picture is polaroid-worthy, ala elaine in seinfeld when her beloved birth control was running out.

  you know what i'm saying.

  i had our intern get me lunch today.  it was awesome.

  lest we think i'm that kind of person, he totally volunteered.  but i pretended that i shouted at him to get me some lunch.

  i don't like knowing information sometimes.  sometimes i really would like to be caught off guard.

  i got to spend 2 hours in the car with my dad.  although the lecture we were going to attend is next week, getting my dad out of the house and away from a computer to talk for 2 hours will always be worth it, even if we drove 45 minutes to eat at arbys and immediately came back home.

  fast food gives me gut rot, and i need to remember that.

  my boss decorated my office with seahorses, beach towels and sombreros.  it was a theme-dress up day at work (i'm really NOT kidding) and it was summer in winter day.  read: excuse to wear flip flops to work day in the dead of winter. seahorses.  i'll say it again: seahorses.

  i like reading my friend sara's blog, all about her kids and runny noses and all of that.  i feel more connected to her, which then astonishes me because we actually haven't talked in months.  anyone else find that weird?

  i am in the middle of 4 books, and actively reading none of them.

  i sometimes wonder if i'm really capable of loving anyone, or if i can only really accomplish trying to love them.

  i communicate primarily in blurbs, hand motions and analogies.

  i'm wearing a black rubber bracelet like the kind you had in 8th grade, the two thin bands wrapped together.

  the number 8 is stuck on my computer, and it's driving me nuts.  888888888.  unstuck.

  seeing the full amount i owe thus far on my college education and realizing that it is now more than my first car, with two years left to go made me sigh.

  my room smells like oranges and clorox.  i like it.

  i'm tired of february.

  i don't like being micromanaged.

  it takes 12 hours to put 600 pins in a map of the world.  it doesn't seem like it should take that long, but it totally does.

  i am time challenged in that i underestimate how long something is going to take me.

  i am curious to know how kristin is doing being pregnant, as compared to the pregnant people i have known thus far.  somehow, when i heard, i thought "well now i'll hear what parenting is REALLY about".  she has that affect, i think, that people think they'll get the real truth from her, whatever it is.

  you should always make friends with people like that.

  i miss christopher and asia.

  i hope i can go see them in thailand.

  worry about money is background worry for me, but it's like a radio station always on in the background.

  i hate that.

  this is much longer than i thought it was going to be when i started.

  i have these obnoxiously bright yellow earrings, and i want to wear them a lot, just to shout to the grey weather on my behalf.

  i have no less than 4 blankets on the bed. 

  i cut down from 7.

  i like to sleep in the same bed as the boy, even though we aren't "sleeping" together in the commonly referred to sense.  and people see just this as shady.  and don't believe me.  but sometimes, just sometimes, i can be an adult about things and be fine.

  sometimes i don't write things so that i don't have to hear the comments from some people i know read this.  but at the same time, i'm friends with people not because i think they will always agree with me, but that they'll tell me the truth, and be friends with me anyway.

  this may be too idealistic, but i don't care.

  i can't wait two whole days.

  i love mail.  sending and receiving.

  i wish my typewriter were fixed.

  i love knowing.

  i tear pages out of composition books.

  i get sad more than i think i should some times.  why is that?

  it's really not about me and it is. 

  balance is important.  not mediocre.  not average.  but balance.

  i had to ground myself again from renting movies/books.  i can NOT return them on time.  it's a disease.  a costly one.

  i HATE library fines.

  i like birds.

  and apples.

  and giraffes.

  sometimes i like to just lay on the bed in complete silence and stare at the ceiling.  i feel like it is my brain's version of unzipping too-tight pants after being uncomfortable all day.

  i'm not looking to see how long this is now.

  too late, i just looked.

  i feel like i have a hard time making friends. whenever i say this, people laugh at me and find it ridiculous.

  i like getting dressed up for a boy.

  i like it even more when it's noticed.

  i like it when people sound friendly on the phone.

  i don't like people lingering in my office.

  i don't like anybody at work complaining about it being too cold or hot in the office.

  i don't like when people aren't resourceful.

  i like knowing the code to the postage machine.

  i like buying new socks.

  my sheets have suspenders to keep them on the bed.

  i'm procrastinating doing my homework.

  my hair is 4 different shades of brown.

  i think the republican party is tired.

  my lips are chapped.

  i can run almost 3 minutes at a time.

  this is a big deal.  wait.  no.  it's a Big Deal.

  some random nights i dig out my old teddy bear and sleep with it.

  i watched the entire first season of dexter.  it creeped me out and i still couldn't stop watching it.

  i am buried with work.

  i hate it when i make people feel stupid, even though it feels very satisfying at the time.  i feel immediate guilt.

  my friend ryan may change his last name to his old polish name.

  sigh.

  okay i'm done.

  • 11:31 pm
  • 4 Comments